


Meadowlove

by spacexual



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Loop Theory, M/M, Meadow, cryin, platonic intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 21:58:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1242100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacexual/pseuds/spacexual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaworu ends up probably saying more than he should have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meadowlove

“I love you, Shinji-kun.”

He says it with a soft smile, the one he always has for you.

You don’t deny the conviction with which he says it. You trust him because you know that the only words he’ll ever speak to you are the truth.

You look at the clouds above and blush like you always do. Kaworu is watching you, but you doubt he can see you through the knee-high grass you’re both laying in. It’s soft as Kaworu’s smiling eyes and bright like the highlights of the EVA.

“Do you love me, too?”

You look in his direction.

Sometimes, the grasses part enough that you can catch glimpses of his face. He’s watching you with his red red eyes.

You can’t answer because you don’t know.

Kaworu pushes the grass separating the two of you from each other, pulls himself closer to you, and rests his head on his palm, watching you.

“How much do you love me?” you ask.

Kaworu blinks. He then softly touches his forehead to yours, and smiles. You can feel whisper-soft puffs of air on your nose as he exhales.

“Would you die for me?”you ask. (You can’t stop yourself. The words seep out without your command.)

He closes his eyes and pulls away.

“…I already have.”

You don’t understand. You tell him so, but he doesn’t answer. He lies down again, close enough so you’re pressed up against each other, but doesn’t talk to you. You half wonder what he means, but you don’t press him. When you look at him, he has a face like he’s about to cry.

You reach over and cup his face. (Such intimacy has become habit with the two of you now. But it’s special. You wouldn’t dare try something like this with Toji, or Kensuke, or even Rei.)

“Are you alright?” He can’t keep eye contact with you for more than a few moments. He rolls over so he’s lying on his side. “Kaworu-kun?”

His shoulders start to shake, but he doesn’t make a sound. “Kaworu-kun?”

You push yourself up on your elbows and lean over, draping yourself over him. You brush the hair out of his face, marveling to yourself somewhere in the back of your brain at how exquisitely soft it is. His tears spill out of his eyes and tumble off his face.

He sniffles loudly but is completely silent other than that. His shoulders are practically vibrating. You continue to stroke his hair and brush away his tears, but other than that, you let him cry.

When he’s finished crying you’re wrapped around each other. You’ve caged him with your arms, your legs, and your forehead rests against his. His silent sobs have subsided into small sniffles every now and then.

“Are you okay now, Kaworu-kun?” He nods as best he can, and grabs your chin, pulling it towards him to press a quick kiss to your lips.

“Thank you, Shinji.”

It takes you a moment to react. You feel your face flush, and you look away, unable to maintain eye contact.

“…Should we go back now?”

He smiles with his puffy eyes. “Alright.”

~*~*~*~

“Ayanami-san, today Kaworu-kun said something strange.”

“Hm.”

“He told me… that he’d died for me.” Rei looks at you then. Her expression is strange and you can’t decipher it. But then she shakes her head a little bit and goes back to staring out at the Geodome. The escalator drones on. When she speaks, her voice is barely audible over the rattle-rattle. “He has.”

**Author's Note:**

> aa yes like my 8th kawoshin fic and i show no signs of stopping  
> anywho this is kind of based on an idea that i had where rei is the only one who remembers all the loops, except for kaworu. i'll probably build more on this idea later so look out for that i guess u.u  
> if u have questions, don't hesitate to comment or message me at my tumblr! c:


End file.
